What’s Next?

6 min read

Have you ever paused to reflect on your own life as a series of commencements? From our first breath to our first day of school, and from first loves to becoming parents, life unfolds as a series of commencements.

Earlier this week, as I strolled through Washington Square Park, a breathtaking sight caught my attention. Among the purple-hued flowers, I saw a sea of NYU graduating students dressed in vibrant violet gowns and exuberant balloons in hand, celebrating their accomplishments against the backdrop of the iconic fountain and the majestic Arch. Their infectious smiles filled the air with excitement and possibility, while the gentle scent of flora wafted through the park, creating an atmosphere of celebration.

This month, schools at all levels will hold commencement ceremonies, marking significant milestones in the lives of students. These events evoke a mix of emotions—excitement, nostalgia, uncertainty, and even anxiety—as students bid farewell to familiar routines, friends, mentors, and cherished moments. As they turn their tassels and become alumni, so too does a page in their life flip, and the answer to the weighted question, "What's next?" is revealed.

While we often associate "commencement" with graduation ceremonies, it holds a profound meaning that extends far beyond academia. Commencement signifies the powerful moment when we turn a new leaf, awakening to the endless possibilities that lie ahead, and embracing the discomfort and challenges that serve as catalysts for growth. 

Everyone experiences personal commencements but may not always recognize their significance. Societal expectations often dictate what is considered a significant life event, but personal commencements hold equal or even greater value. These personal commencements can manifest in various forms, such as the realization of the importance of certain relationships, pursuing passion projects that ignite our souls, or overcoming personal struggles that have shaped our character. However, these personal commencements are often overlooked or dismissed, but they offer immense potential for growth and self-discovery.

This moment of closure for graduating seniors invites us to reflect on the things that may be coming to an end in our own personal lives. Whether it's the end of a romantic relationship, a job, a friendship, or even a transformation within ourselves, viewing it as both an end and a beautiful beginning allows us to honor the journey that has brought us here. By reframing these transitions, we open ourselves up to new possibilities and room for personal growth.

Here are practical ways to embrace a new beginning with grace and optimism.

1. Embrace Uncertainty:

Change is inevitable, and it often brings a mix of excitement and uncertainty. Stepping into the unknown can be daunting, but in those moments of uncertainty, we find our most authentic selves. 

To illustrate the power of embracing uncertainty, let me share a personal experience. At the height of the pandemic, I decided to launch a podcast. It was a venture into the unknown. Excitement coursed through my veins as I pondered the possibility of being the next Oprah. However, a nagging voice of doubt echoed in my mind. I had no formal training in media. I had always enjoyed storytelling and engaging with and making meaning of our experiences, but I had never considered myself particularly skilled at public speaking. In fact, I cringed at the sound of my own voice. What if I poured my heart into this endeavor, only to face rejection and disappointment? Despite these apprehensions, something inside me urged me to embrace the uncertainty and give it a shot. I dove headfirst into the challenge, securing guests for the show and recording and editing the episodes. Doubt would creep in occasionally, trying to sabotage my progress, but I pushed forward, allowing my vision to fuel my determination.

On the day Kume: Turning Point Diaries podcast launched, I felt a mixture of anticipation and anxiety at the uncertainty of the show's reception. To my surprise, the podcast resonated with listeners. Whether it's heartwarming podcast reviews, messages from listeners, or SquareSpace featuring the podcast in its marketing campaign in The New York Times, I am affirmed by the value listeners find in it. 

This experience taught me a valuable lesson about the power of embracing uncertainty in our personal lives. It showed me that sometimes, the greatest rewards lie on the other side of fear, doubt, and the unknown. By embracing uncertainty, we can approach the unknown with curiosity and open-mindedness, ready to seize the opportunities it presents. 

2. Define Success on Your Terms:

During commencement, we often encounter a societal emphasis on external markers of success, such as degrees, awards, or accolades. It is essential to define success on our own terms and recognize that true fulfillment comes from aligning our actions and choices with our values and life vision. Embrace your unique path, free from societal expectations or comparisons. Celebrate the small victories, personal growth, and the joy that accompanies following your heart. By embracing the spirit of celebration, you cultivate a positive mindset and reinforce your belief in your ability to thrive. Remember that success is not a one-size-fits-all concept; it varies from person to person.

3. Release What No Longer Serves You:

Commencement in our personal lives often requires letting go of what no longer serves us. It could be relationships, habits, or beliefs that hinder our growth. At times we want to nurture and hold on to bonds because of what they mean to us, but attachment may make us not live in alignment with who we are. We should not shrink ourselves in the name of love, family, friendship, or work. If we can't show up as our authentic selves in a relationship or environment, then we should assess the situation and consider making changes. 

Letting go is not a sign of failure; instead, it is a courageous act of self-love. Just as a seed must shed its protective shell to sprout, we, too, must release what holds us back to embrace new beginnings. Engaging in self-reflection and evaluating our relationships, habits, and beliefs is crucial during personal commencements. Trust the process of letting go, knowing it creates space for fresh experiences and personal evolution.

4. Nurture Self-Compassion:

Throughout the journey of personal commencement, it's crucial to cultivate self-compassion. Acknowledge that transitions can be challenging, and it's okay to feel a mix of emotions. Treat yourself with the same kindness, understanding, and empathy you would offer a friend. Be gentle with yourself, acknowledge your imperfections, and forgive yourself for past mistakes. Remember that nobody is perfect, and it's okay to make mistakes. Engage in self-care practices like regular exercise, maintaining a balanced diet, practicing meditation or mindfulness, journaling your thoughts and emotions, and ensuring you get enough restful sleep Surround yourself with a supportive network that encourages and uplifts you during these transformative periods. These practices can help you feel more balanced and centered. 

5. Trust the Journey

Amidst the chaos of life's many twists and turns, it's vital to trust the journey. Trust that even in the darkest moments, a hidden gem is waiting to be discovered. Trust that every setback is a stepping stone leading you closer to your dreams. Embrace the process, with its ups and downs, and treasure the lessons that accompany each new commencement. Although we may not be able to control when seasons come and go in our life, we have a choice in how we respond. When we find ourselves in a difficult season, we can practice saying this:

Yes, this season is frustrating, and I understand. 

Yes, this is disappointing, and I still have hope. 

Yes, this is annoying, but it's just for now. 

By embracing the process and trusting in its wisdom, we empower ourselves to embark on each new commencement with hope and resilience.

Commencement represents not only the conclusion of a chapter, but also the beginning of the next. By reframing it as such, we can better embrace uncertainty, let go of what no longer serves us, and celebrate milestones along the way. With a mindset of resilience, adaptability, and self-compassion, we can navigate life's transitions with purpose and embrace the power of new beginnings. Personal commencements are the key to unlocking our true potential and living a life filled with purpose.

For more inspiration on personal commencements, tune in to our podcast, where people from all walks of life share their turning points and invaluable lessons. Remember, endings pave the way for incredible new beginnings.

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