Changing Seasons and Cultivating Acceptance

3 min read

Photo by Cesarin Mateo

Over the weekend, I packed away my sundresses, shorts, and tanks to make room for jackets, hoodies, and everything knit in my closet. As much as I want it to be summer forever, I am ready for afternoons cozying up in a warm fleece blanket and a golden milk latte in hand. 

Why is it easy for us to accept, understand, and even celebrate the change of seasons in nature but struggle with change in our personal lives? Similar to the seasons in nature, we can not control when the seasons in our lives come and go. Yet, many of us respond to life transitions not with acceptance but with immense frustration, anger, resistance, and disappointment, forgetting that no season in nature or life is forever. 

Having recently come out of a year-long relationship, I’ve struggled with being in a state of singledom. Whether swiping on dating apps or making small talk at a lounge, I find myself trying to bulldoze through this season of being single by making connections as quickly as possible. I am rubbing up against the angst of being unpartnered as a thirty-something-year-old woman who desires to be a mother someday. However, it wasn't until a recent meditation practice, where the instructor asked us to name the things we did not have control over, that I became aware of this internal struggle. The instructor reminded us that our default reaction to things we cannot control is often either from something in the past or trying to make our way to the future by curating exactly what needs to happen to get us there. The instructor encouraged us to respond differently. What if we could aspire to allow the situation to exist in all its complexity—allowing anger, disappointment, resistance, and frustration as well as grace and acceptance of that moment?  

Thinking back to how I packed away my summer clothes without any resistance, I realized that I could apply that same mindset to the transitions in my life. The seasons in nature are not only metaphors for our experiences in life, but they also show how not having control can be okay and what it means to accept new iterations or stages of ourselves. Not having control can be okay and frustrating at the same time. Accepting new iterations or stages of ourselves comes with tremendous fear and desire to fight those very stages. Yet there comes the gift of acceptance: an opportunity to choose again, to meet ourselves more deeper, to surrender what we have no control over, and meet the reality as it is. This does not mean giving up. It means meeting the present moment and appreciating it for what it is despite our burning desire for it to be something else. If I were to reframe my relationship status as a season, it would be a respite season—a time for resting, reflecting, and letting go. 

Although we may not be able to control when seasons come and go in our life, we have a choice in how we respond. When we find ourselves in a difficult season, we can practice saying this:

Yes, this season is frustrating, and I understand. 

Yes, this is disappointing, and I still have hope. 

Yes, this is annoying, but it's just for now. 

It is a practice I am learning to adopt, with occasional lapses, but I will continue to be open to the flow of life, stories, and seasons in all their pains and great joys, and I will receive the unique gifts each season has to offer. I may be in a season of singledom today, but in a couple of months, I may find myself in a season of savoring love. I’m reminded by Aminata Dia in her powerful story of cultivating peace and acceptance of our unique seasons (S2E1 of the podcast) to "choose faith over the comfort and certainty of what you already know."The conversation made me smile, laugh, and look at life differently, and I hope it will do the same for you. LISTEN HERE and be inspired to embrace even the most difficult seasons of life and find a way through them.

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