Carving Time for Ourselves
by Yelka Kamara — 4 min read
I take my full-hour lunch break. This means not being at my desk, not in a meeting, or eating while working. Whether at the office or working from home, I step away from my computer when noon strikes. This hour is a sacred time for me. I have it blocked off on my calendar, and I don't respond to work calls or emails. The important thing for me isn't the meal itself but honoring the break I deserve. I have carved out this time to breathe fresh air, find comfort in a loved one's voice, listen to a podcast, journal, meditate, move my body, or even nap. By ditching the deskside dining, I can increase blood flow, clear my mind, and bring balance to my day, which boosts my mood and keeps me inspired when I return to work.
Those of us in the U.S. are famously overworked; in 2018, we took an average of 17.4 vacation days, leaving 768 million vacation days on the table. These are missed opportunities to recharge, experience something new, and connect with family, friends, or ourselves. And that's if we were lucky enough to have vacation days at all. Furthermore, many of the nation's workers also eschew lunch to work longer. In fact, 62% of American workers say they eat lunch at their desks.
This week, I want to encourage us to be intentional about carving time for ourselves. Many things are vying for our attention, but prioritizing ourselves is also essential. We are worth our own time and energy. I want us to take a critical look at our calendars, put in pockets of time for care, and ensure we have time to rest. The invitation here is not for us to put a time in our calendar that we hope could happen, but what we could stick to. I want us to be open, honest, and non-judgemental about how we can better care for ourselves. So, open your calendar or whatever you use that organizes and governs how you move throughout the week and ask yourself: What can I truly commit to that will allow me to check in with myself and offer myself some care at the moment? You can use these scheduled moments to rest in whatever way, shape, or form that might look for you. Rest might not look like having your eyes closed; maybe it's taking a long bath, having a conversation with a friend who makes your belly hurt from laughter, or going for a walk with a pumpkin-spice latte in hand because 'tis the season. Whatever it is, pencil in the ways that feel good and honor your schedules and yourself.
In addition to carving time for rejuvenation, I encourage us to do the following journal reflection in anticipation of the busy holiday season ahead. The journal prompt is how will you keep yourself regulated during this time? As joyful and exciting as this time of year can be with the gatherings, parties, decorations, rituals, music, gifts, and connections, it can bring up a slew of emotions and a myriad of issues that can throw us a little off balance. Whether we are prone to feeling anxiety, grief, and stress or managing a busy travel schedule, there's a strong chance of being thrown out of our routine, which may cause unease. For me, there are two things I do during this time to remain grounded and show my best self. First, I am mindful of my social media consumption–how much time I spend scrolling through other people's lives and comparing them to my own, especially dwelling on the things that may be lacking in my life. In the words of our podcast guest, Dr. Workya Duncan (S2EP4), "Comparison will have you looking for the 1 when you have the 99." Second, I maintain an attitude of gratitude. Each morning I rise, I say three things I am grateful for. This practice allows me to consciously choose to appreciate the blessings in my life right now.
We don't have to wait until the weekend to invite slowness into our lives or to offer some care to ourselves. We need to guard our time preciously, not just to support how we show up for ourselves, our friends and family, and the places where people are calling for our attention, but so that as time continues to pass, we are able to find grounding because we have this steady practice of rest. By building moments of respite into our days, we affirm our aliveness and make ourselves a priority. Let us make it more than okay to make it about us.
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