Breathe and Let Go
3 min read
Photo by Kewulay Kamara
We've all been told to "let go" or move on. Maybe it was said in reference to a toxic friendship, a family member that exhausts us, a job we hate, longing for an ex, or even our clinging to the idea of who we used to be. But how do we actually let go? It often seems easier said than done.
During a recent guided meditation, it suddenly became clear to me that letting go is a natural human instinct that we practice with our breath. Sitting on my couch, eyes closed, feet planted firmly on the rug, I became aware of the cycle of resourcing and removing as I took slow, deep breaths. With one breath, I inhaled and brought fresh oxygen into my body, enabling my cells and organs to function. The inevitable next thing was to exhale, releasing carbon dioxide as I breathed out. With each inhale and exhale, I expelled what was not good for me and invited the next moment of what was good. Breathing in and out are two sides of the same movement. What this means is that we can't have one without the other. This also applies to relationships and situations–allowing in new experiences and letting go must also go hand-in-hand. Through our breath, we continuously shift between being attached to something to being okay with that something no longer being in our lives. We do this 22,000 times a day effortlessly and will continue until our final breath when we expire.¹
The entire breathing cycle can be seen as a metaphor for our experiences in life, especially letting go of something that no longer serves us. At times we want to nurture and hold on to bonds because of what they mean to us, but attachment may make us not live in alignment with who we are. We should not shrink ourselves in the name of love, family, friendship, or work. If we can’t show up as our authentic selves in a relationship or environment, then we should assess the situation and determine whether it’s time to move on.
Although we often breathe without noticing, if we bring attention to our breath and how we let in and expel, we can enhance the skill of letting go and have an easier time letting go in our daily lives. Inhaling reminds us to actively invite and embrace new experiences, thoughts, and feelings, similar to how we inhale oxygen and all its goodness that boosts vitality. Exhaling reminds us to release attachment–to not cling for too long–the past, anger, love, fear, resentment, and more, as we do with carbon dioxide. By focusing on the breath, we cultivate awareness of the gifts in every moment, from the nourishment of the oxygen we breathe in and the pleasures that life offers us to the release of the exhalation and the lessons that letting go has to offer.
So the next time you struggle with letting go of a person, thing, or situation, pause and connect with your breath. Slowly inhale through your nose, and slowly exhale out your mouth. Notice how you release as air moves in and out of your body. You are already letting go.
If you want more inspiration on letting go, listen to S3E1 of our podcast, where guest Jesse Wilson courageously models how to build a new life after a significant chapter closes—piecing together a new home, a new work, new relationships, and a new sense of self. And remember, a release is required to usher in goodness, including oxygenated blood, into our lives.
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