Being at Peace: Cultivating a Harmonious Relationship with Yourself
5 min read
Photo by Brianna Eastridge
"Nothing can bring you peace but yourself." ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
Last week was nothing short of blissful as we basked in a three-day sunny stretch of unusually hot temperatures in the mid-80s in New York City. Something about the sun hitting our skin gives us an instant dopamine boost and awakens parts of us that have been dormant.
Thursday evening, in particular, was delightful and meaningful. After a long day in the office, I rushed home to savor the remaining daylight hours on my terrace. Once I stepped onto my patio, I valued the state of stillness of my home more than ever. I could feel my nerves ease and my shoulders drop as I relaxed into the cushions of the silver steel-framed loveseat. Each sip of my lemon rosemary ginger ale tasted better than the last. As someone who finds joy in entertaining and being social, at that moment, I wasn't yearning for the company of others but relishing in my own company.
I sat with my thoughts and feelings, relaxing in my authenticity and observing the contours of my inner self. My mind was not disturbed by obligations and demands, relationships to nourish, bills to pay, or content to create, nor did I need to distract myself with music or social media. I was calm, content, and self-assured. I felt proud of where I was and how far I have come. I felt immense gratitude for my health, freedom, and the abundance that circulates in my life. I may not have everything I desired, but I have everything I needed.
What I experienced that evening was peace with myself. Too often, when we think of being in a state of peace, we think of a particular scenery, but it is more about acceptance and calmness. The story of Portrait of Peace states, "Peace is not only in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace is in the midst of things as they are when there is calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace." For the two hours I sat alone outside, I was liberated from anything that could limit me from being in tune with myself. I was free of unnecessary noise, judgment, criticism, unsolicited advice, symptoms of imposter syndrome, or any other interference that could resurface within a social setting. I could think more clearly, feel more deeply, and be honest with myself. The silence filled my terrace with love and warmth, transforming it into a meditative space. In that short time, I found peace in my heart through the magic of solitude. I was alone, but not lonely. My inner self could breathe, smile, feel comfortable in my skin, and expand beyond my wildest dreams. Solitude affirmed my heart and soul.
The calmness and acceptance I experienced that evening resulted from countless self-reflection, self-expression, and self-discovery. Over the past few years, I have invested in myself. I have widened my perspective on life changes, engaged in activities that bring me joy and fulfillment (Kume is a big part of that), prioritized rest, set and pursued meaningful goals, sought therapy to provide valuable support, guidance, and tools to navigate my inner landscape, developed self-care routines, extended kindness and forgiveness towards myself when I make mistakes, fostered positive and meaningful relationships that nourish my soul and contribute to my sense of peace, and focused on how to reset and let go. These practices have allowed me to accept and embrace who I am as a person, to feel more balanced and centered, and be connected with the world around me, even when I am on my own.
If you seek to find peace and enhance your relationship with yourself, here are some practices to cultivate:
Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness, understanding, and empathy you would offer a friend. Be gentle with yourself, acknowledge your imperfections, and forgive yourself for past mistakes. Remember that nobody is perfect, and it's okay to make mistakes.
Cultivate self-awareness: Take time to reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors without judgment. Be curious about your inner world and explore your beliefs, values, and motivations. This self-awareness can help you better understand yourself and your needs and make informed choices that align with your authentic self.
Develop self-care routines: Taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being is essential for being at peace with yourself. Establish regular self-care routines, such as exercise, healthy eating, meditation, journaling, and getting enough sleep. These practices can help you feel more balanced and centered.
Embrace solitude: Spending time alone can be a powerful way to connect with yourself and cultivate self-enjoyment. Embrace solitude as an opportunity to discover new hobbies and passions, gain fresh perspective, and provide room for imagination and inspiration to thrive without needing external validation or approval. Go for a solitary walk, go to the movies by yourself, buy a cup of coffee in that romantic little shop on the corner (your time alone can still involve people-watching), or stop to admire the work of a street artist. Solo time can be as entertaining and satisfying as any other social alternative.
Foster meaningful connections: While enjoying your company is important, fostering meaningful relationships with others can also contribute to your sense of peace. Surround yourself with positive and supportive relationships that nourish your soul, and accept and appreciate you for who you are.
Set and pursue meaningful goals: Setting and pursuing meaningful goals can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Identify what matters to you and set achievable goals that align with your values and aspirations. Celebrate your progress and be patient with yourself as you work towards your goals.
Remember, finding peace within yourself is a lifelong journey that requires patience, self-compassion, and practice. You can cultivate self-awareness, authenticity, and empathy with commitment and effort. Be kind to yourself, be patient, and remember that seeking professional help is okay.
Sign up for our curated weekly newsletter with stories and inspiration on life, love, well-being, and much more delivered right to your inbox.