Table Manners and Heartfelt Lessons
3 min read
Last Sunday, in the late afternoon, Baba (Dad) and I took a leisurely stroll in Central Park. As the gentle breeze rustled through the tunnel of American elms, our conversation turned to my recent travels to Italy, Morocco, and France. I eagerly shared the profound learnings from the Art de la Table workshop I attended in Paris. Even as a thirty-something-year-old, I found formal place settings to be my Achilles' heel. So, when I stumbled upon an Airbnb Experience promising to teach me everything about dining in style and hosting guests confidently, it felt like the perfect opportunity to gain finesse in social and dining etiquette.
At the Art de la Table workshop, I was immersed in the rich history and cultural significance behind French and English dining etiquette. The instructor captivated our attention with fascinating insights, such as the symbolism of engravings on silverware and the purpose behind the upward and downward facing of the fork and spoon on the table. I absorbed practical tips for navigating social graces in elevated Western settings, like understanding the subtle cues that guide table manners during formal dinners. More importantly, I now had the know-how to feel at ease when hosting or dining in any such environment.
Always wise and supportive, Baba commended me on investing in myself and offered advice that struck a chord with me: "Don't let someone's strangeness make you uncomfortable." He emphasized that when we find ourselves in unfamiliar cultural territory, it is essential to remain true to ourselves and not be overly concerned with conforming to norms that may be foreign to us.
To illustrate his point, Baba shared a heartfelt personal story from his youth in Sierra Leone. He recounted an incident when he dined with Peace Corps volunteers at a fancy restaurant, unaccustomed to using forks and knives to eat. Feeling hesitant when he was served chicken, he was graciously guided by a compassionate volunteer who said, "Kewulay, you know the best way to enjoy chicken is with your hands." The volunteer then put down his fork and knife, picked up the chicken with his hands, and ate. This small act of understanding and warmth made Baba feel at ease, showing him that proper etiquette is not necessarily about rigid rules but embracing cultural differences with respect and consideration.
Reflecting on my Art de la Table experience and Baba's wise words, I realized that the true essence of etiquette lies in finding comfort and confidence in any social setting. We do this by admitting when we encounter new and unfamiliar situations. This admission gives us the curiosity and confidence to accept and receive new knowledge. It is not about letting trivial things like table manners define our worth or making us feel inferior. Instead, we should be open to learning, embracing cultural diversity, and being ourselves with honesty and authenticity. When we encounter someone feeling uncomfortable in an unfamiliar environment, let's strive to extend a warm heart and understanding, just like that compassionate Peace Corps volunteer did for Baba. By opening our minds and choosing to see etiquette as a tool to connect with others, we foster a sense of unity that transcends cultural boundaries.
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