Do You Like Yourself?

2 min read

Photo by Kewulay Kamara

I recently came across a 27-second clip from Oprah's interview with writer, producer, actress, and comedian, Quinta Brunson on Instagram that resonated with me deeply. Brunson is the creator, executive producer, writer, and star of the ABC comedy series Abbot Elementary and was on the Time 100 most influential list for 2022. In the clip, Oprah asks Brunson, "What's a question do you think every woman should ask herself?" to which she answers, "Do I like myself? Do I really like myself when I'm in my room by myself when I'm with myself? Do I like who I am? If the answer is no, then you do some work to make sure you do." 

Everyone should pause and ask this honest and courageous question from time to time. It reminds us to turn our attention inward and not have our likeness of ourselves defined by external validation, which can change with the wind.

In the past, I have subconsciously used outward achievements to mask internal issues. I am not alone in handling insecurities by covering them with accomplishments. However, the feelings brought on by accolades are TEMPORARY. I've realized no amount of external validation, praise, or promotion could make me feel what I didn't already believe to be true about myself. 

Knowing and accepting ourselves unconditionally is not a one-time event but a continuously unfolding reality. Therapy has played a significant role in helping me discover, understand, know, and like myself in different life circumstances. It is the space I sit and wrestles my relationship with myself independent of titles and recognition.

 If you ask yourself Brunson's question, and the answer is a resounding YES – this is wonderful! I ask that you continue to deepen your likeness of yourself and not let anyone make you doubt yourself or dim your light.

If your answer to the question is NO, you can work to get to a place where you like yourself. Here are some areas of work to consider: 

• Give yourself grace for decisions you've made in the past 

• Forgive others 

• Invest in your interests, growth, and development 

• Compliment yourself 

• Be gentle and patient in becoming who you want to be

• Listen and pay attention to your inner voice 

• Connect with God or a higher power

I also encourage you to pay attention to when and where you start questioning your ability and love for yourself. Sometimes the spaces we are in can make it challenging to appreciate ourselves.

There's no better time for self-exploration than the present. Reflecting often leads to inner peace, allowing us to discover our beauty, strength, and talents. Make time today and every day to connect with yourself. And remember that there can never be an end to learning about yourself. That is what makes life purposeful and fun. As you discover your authentic self, you will attract healthier relationships and walk in the path truest to you. 

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